Sad to say, but most people have experienced trauma, in some form, throughout their life. Most people have a misconception of trauma or traumatic events as they often only consider events such as abuse, war, loss, or accidents. Let's consider those "T" traumas (Big T trauma). These involve extreme events which drastically alter the lives of those involved. Big T trauma often shakes our mental perspective to the core as they are often sudden events with few preceding events.
There is another type of trauma involving changes to a person's safety or comfort. These can often present as prolonged events. Such examples can be a toxic work environment, the loss of employment, relationships ending, frequent arguments/fights with family, friends, or others. Let's call these "t" traumas (Little t traumas). It may be easy to dismiss these types of events as non-traumatic since they do not compare to the Big T events discussed earlier, but ignoring Little t trauma can have negative impacts on our current life.
Let's take a moment to look at how our mind processes and copes with traumatic events. We have a certain level of anxiety instilled in our minds designed to help us avoid danger. Imagine a security guard watching monitors of our lives and trying to steer us away from danger when it can. Whenever a traumatic event occurs, our safety or well-being is jeopardized. Once this happens, the security guard in our mind becomes overactive to make sure we are never put in the traumatic situation again. It begins to see danger in more situations and often makes us avoid situations that could be dangerous. Before too long, our own monitoring agent is keeping us from socializing or going to work.
If left unchecked, some people may avoid all social situations in order to prevent someone from hurting them. Some people may stop going outside because all they see are dangerous situations. Past traumatic relationships may keep us from starting new relationships for fear of future abuse or distress. Our own mental security guard will suggest avoiding any potentially harmful interactions or situations.
The problem with this is, life is full of potential dangers, but life has other aspects besides danger. Yes, if you go to the grocery store, you might encounter all types of negative events, but you will also encounter positive events, too. Avoiding starting a romantic relationship will keep you from being harmed, but it also prevents you from feeling love from another. You may have been in a car accident, but to stop driving severely limits your freedom and ability to function.
Talking to a mental health professional about past traumas, whether Big T or Little t, will help your mind appropriately deal with the event(s) without projecting the fear of future harm into your daily life.
