Intimate partners consist of those individuals we feel a type of romantic love for and generally are the closest to us. This group typically includes spouses, paramours, and other partners with whom we share both emotional and physical contact. The relationships we cultivate with these individuals are often characterized by deep emotional connections that foster a sense of security, trust, and mutual understanding. These partners are not merely companions; they are confidants who share our dreams, aspirations, and vulnerabilities. Being in contact with these individuals brings fulfillment, as they provide support during challenging times and celebrate our successes with us. Their presence enriches our lives, contributing to our overall happiness and well-being. Conversely, their absence creates a profound sense of loss, often accompanied by feelings of loneliness and longing. The void left by an intimate partner can be difficult to navigate, leading to emotional turmoil and a reevaluation of one's identity and place in the world. The impact of such a loss can resonate across various aspects of life, affecting mental health, social interactions, and even physical well-being.
Close friends/family are those individuals we actively choose to have in our lives. They are the friends we have made who represent a kinship and are often active in multiple aspects of our lives. Family is included in this category, with caution. This category consists of the family members we choose to associate with and generally desire to be around (not all family fits in this category). Friends in this category are often considered 'found family'.
Associates are those individuals we see on a regular basis, either in a workplace environment or some level of regular social activity. These may be favored coworkers, fellow parents at child sporting events, regulars in bars, and other similar situations. These individuals are generally only seen in these environments, and there is little interaction outside of their designated location. They represent individuals we converse with and have a general fondness for, but lack deep emotional sharing.
Well-wishers are those individuals with whom there is some level of interaction, but generally, personal information is not shared. These can consist of baristas, bartenders, instructors, or any other individual where superficial contact is present, but never any sharing of emotional content or other personal data. They are called well-wishers because you enjoy their presence and generally wish them well in life, but rarely have any real connection with them.
Seen But Not Heard is a classification of individuals whom you may see regularly but do not talk to. This could be fellow gym members, students in your class, or coworkers who do not work in your department or floor. You see each other in passing enough that a wave or head nod may be warranted, but conversation never develops.
All of these categories are important to have in life because they give a level of connection with others. They help us feel welcomed in environments, and they provide a level of familiarity our brain often craves. It has been touted that a relationship is not formed in the brain until after 10 hours of exposure to an individual, although some studies suggest this amount of time may be diminished if the individual is seen in two or more different locations.
So what are Pararelationships? Pararelationships are one-sided relationships that occur when we have some level of access to an individual, but they do not have access to us (at least not to the same level). The best example of a pararelationship would be with celebrities and their audiences. Thanks to social media, we are able to follow a celebrity on multiple platforms where they can share different aspects of their personal life. Prior to social media, exposure to celebrities generally only occurred through the media they were famous for. Like Brad Pitt? Well, you were limited to his movies or occasional TV appearances. Now, however, celebrities often share their favorite meals, vacation photos, and even their political opinions.
This is where a parasocial relationship occurs. After so much exposure, across multiple platforms, to a celebrity, our brains can start to over-associate with the individual. You may know some form of personal information about a celebrity that your friends have not heard. This tricks the brain into thinking there is a type of relationship. Try walking up to Sabrina Carpenter tomorrow and commenting about a post she made last week. If you are able to get a look at her expression before her security tackles you, you are likely to see some confusion and bewilderment. This is because Sabrina Carpenter has absolutely no idea who you are.
Parasocial relationships can take a sinister turn, however, and the brain can become overly focused (i.e., obsessed) with the individual. Most stalking situations with celebrities are due to the stalker having a parasocial relationship with them. While most of us won't go to stalker level (hopefully), not checking in with your brain on how you are interpreting relationships can be very detrimental. The brain will have difficulty understanding a parasocial relationship exists and may be quite content with having multiple parasocial relationships with random celebrities online. While this will make the brain feel a kinship, it will not result in the other aspects actual relationships can deliver.
So, how do you make sure you keep your parasocial relationships in check? First, monitor your social media time, especially with regards to 'following' celebrities. Make sure you stay reminded that most social media is curated to only show marketable activities and may not even be posted by the actual celebrity. Second, check your conversations for too much information about celebrities. If your social relations start to have a glazed-over look because you have been talking about Beyoncé for over 15 minutes, check yourself. Third, while it is great to be a fan of someone, make sure you accept they are people too and likely have many flaws, just like everyone else.
